Time to grow up?

I like to think I'm a strong, vibrant woman but that would be a lie and I'm not Humperdink! I'm strong when I shouldn't be and weak when I should be strong. I have opinions on everything, including things I have no business. I tend toward the lazy and letting others make decisions for me, but then complain loud and long about things. I'm 43 years old and I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.

I have moments when I rise to the occasion and act like I'm in my 40s, been married for over two decades, have five children and a full-time job. But there are way too many times when I'm a 12-year old girl in maturity, attitude and outlook.

I do wonder how someone is supposed to grow up and act their age. There's no "mature" button and only life lessons. There really ought to be a level monitor so that you can see where you are. Maybe I'm not as immature as I think I am? Maybe others are just waaaaay farther along.

I also wonder how people figure out how to keep their households going. It's all I can do to wash a dish, take out trash, do laundry and put a meal on the table. I wish I had the wherewithal to do the family thing. I hope I haven't screwed up my kids too much and I hope that the stories they tell their kids about Grandma aren't too bad.

I wish I liked to cook. I wish I liked to clean. I wish I liked to exercise. I wish I wasn't uncomfortable around people. I wish my brain worked like it used to.

I wish, I want, I, I, I, I...guess I have a little more growing up to do!

Still on the search for a good night's sleep

Last night was the night of snores (sorry, Hot Potato). I hate to wake the dear man when he's sawing a log because I know his schedule and he is desperate for sleep as well. But one cannot get to sleep with someone snoring in their ear. Last night it was almost enough to get me to go sleep with one of the kids. Almost. I'm a pretty lazy creature.

My snore-stopping procedure of choice is to bounce my body on the bed. This usually produces the Snorer to roll over and cease and desist long enough for me to get to sleep. Once I'm asleep, I'm usually good to go. No such luck last night. The Snorer kept rolling back into sleep position! As he started the snore marathon at 12:40 am...it was a long night.

Tonight he'll head to the Park right after work to do construction on the new concession building again. My plan is to take a full dose of Benadryl, stuff my ear plugs in and keep my fingers crossed. Since I don't have to worry about sleeping through an alarm. This might do the trick.

I wonder if anyone will notice that I'm sleeping with my eyes open at my desk today.

Sleep...

You kind of take for granted how important sleep is. Until, however, you are in your 2nd or 3rd week of having been woken up at 2:30 in the morning and not able to return to sleep. I'm past that point. I don't even remember the last time I've slept all night.

I. Am.Exhausted.

I guess I'll check with my friend Google and see what I can find. It'll probably tell me to exercise. Somehow all my woes are always solved with exercise. I'd really like the solution to be chocolate.

Yes, I had blonde hair

Found this in my Draft folder. Wonder why I didn't publish it...Hmm....

Yesterday I scanned in and uploaded to Facebook several old photos of myself. Some of my kids were taken aback that I had blonde hair. I know we'd had conversations before where I'd said that I'd had blonde hair as a child, but I guess seeing is believing or they didn't think when I said "blonde" that I meant "blonde". There were times when Lori and I were almost white-blonde! Daughter Lorie kept saying that, "you were really, really blonde, Mom." Um, yeah! I told you!

Luckily my sister Lori has an excellent sense of humor since most of those pictures included her. Paybacks can be interesting, and Lori has one of those brains that go "where no man has gone before" so I'm not ruling out getting on Facebook in the future to be confronted with something.

Tired

I've been so tired lately. I just came off of a full week Break, too. I should be rested and raring to go. Maybe I have too MUCH to be focused on and that's why I feel so exhausted. Maybe it's because all I do is "rest" and so I'm getting too much rest? Maybe my medication is off...

I'm trying to get myself together because tonight? I'm going to the Bon Jovi concert! I'm shaking in my seat with excitement. So glad I'm going with two other ladies of my age group that I can feel no shame in Squeeing to my heart's delight. One of my friends is bring her 11-year old son. Hope we don't embarrass him too much. But he's lived his whole life with his mom who is a die-hard JBJ fan.

Hot Potato was funny last night. "That's tomorrow night?" and "Who are you going with again?" On my honor, I solemnly swear that I will come home with all the underclothing I wear out the door. I promise not to make the 10 (or 11) o'clock news for my behavior and I will not check my Pastor's Wife license at the door.

I hope there are females dressed like they were at the Def Leppard/Poison/Cheap Trick concert I went to for my 40th birthday. That was some funny snarking! Poo...just realized that I came away from that concert without a concert T-shirt. How did that happen? I've already paid for my JBJ concert T-shirt so no problem there. I promise to post a picture of me in my T!

One more time for the road...SQUEE!!!!!

2013...here we come!

Looks like I didn't do so well blogging in 2012. On the bright side, if I blog twice in 2013, I'm already 100% better then I was in 2012!

We're still in the Basement. Hubby is still at Luther Rice and with Bethel. I changed schools and duties and now take care of the registrar duties and the computer tech responsibilities for an elementary school across the street from Meg and Lorie. I'm much more happy!

Dayannah is 3 semesters away from her degree; Kenny3 is now at LRSU for the time being; Lorie is finishing her senior year and dreaming of college life; Meg is in 10th and Jo in her last year of middle school (8th). The girls are now all within an inch of each other in height and growing more beautiful (and one of them, more prissy) every day.

Hubby is finishing up his Master's degree and is kicking around going for a Master's in Counseling. I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. Right now I'd settle for a settled stomach!

My goals for this year are to read the Bible through, add exercise to my diet, try to think more positively, and possibly blog more.

We'll just have to see, won't we?!

Well, I tried

What is about blogging that demands so much discipline? How hard can it be to simply write down your thoughts periodically? Apparently, it takes a lot of discipline as most of my blogs are apologies for the big blocks of time between blogs!

What's new? I actually did something. I didn't just think about, mull it over and then whoops! deadline passed...I did something. The school offered a Biggest Loser competition and I joined it. Not with any hope of actually winning, especially once I found out that the winner was based on poundage lost, not percentage of body weight lost. I wanted to get something started that I obviously couldn't do for myself. I've joined gyms in the past...and then not gone. I have all sorts of exercise DVDs that I don't use and even have a stationary bike which has been moved to Lorie's room, where I don't think it's getting anymore use than it did when it was in my room. I figured joining the B.L. would give me the motivation to actually do something since if I didn't show up for workouts (twice a week), someone was going to want to know what was going on. If I had a cruddy lunch, I would have to explain myself to someone. And since we weigh in every week...total accountability! So far I've lost 5 lbs...but call foul on this last week's weighin. My scale at home has been about 2 lbs off of the school's scale this entire time. This week it showed that I lost 4 lbs but the school scale said I didn't lose anything! Add to the confusion that I went to the doctor that same day and my weight was 4 lbs less than the school's scale! I'm trying to suck it up (obviously not very well since it's the next day and I'm still whining about it) and move on knowing that once this 8 week B.L. thing is over...I get to use MY scale! :)