Monday, November 23, 2009

Remembering little Lorie

Lorie turned 15 today. She's beautiful...inside and out. I can't take any credit for her physical beauty...she looks more like my sister than she does me. I hope I can take some credit for her inner beauty, but seeing that I act more like a temperamental, immature 12-year old boy (my apologies to any 12 year old boys) , I'm not sure I can take credit for that either...that would be due to the calm, solid nature of the Hubby.

On her birthday I can't help but remember the first few weeks of her life and just how scared I was. She had jaundice, but that was something we'd gone through with little Kenny. I knew as soon as her system decided to kick in, things would be fine. Jaundice and breastfeeding kind of go hand-in-hand. But the day she was cleared by the doctor, he gave the news this way, "We have good news and bad news for you." Never a good sign. I was by myself with Lorie. Mom (if I remember correctly) was at the house with little Kenny, so I had to deal with whatever the "bad news" was all by myself as this was before the cell phone became part of my life. The good news was that her bilirubin levels were fine so the jaundice situation was over. The bad news was that they detected a heart murmur and I needed to take Lorie to the hospital immediately and get an EKG. I still remember thinking, "crud, I'm in white pants", which will be a duh moment for anyone that has been one week postpartum...if you haven't, you don't want to know. Anyhow, the doctor's office was right next door to the hospital so I packed her up and drove her over to the hospital. I remember walking around the hospital being directed to where I needed to go with a big diaper bag and that mammoth-feeling car seat. The technicians that hooked Lorie up to the EKG machine weren't really very soothing. They were nervous because they'd never done this with a child so young. Stoic and strong...that was the word for me. I'd called Mom before going to the hospital to let her know not to expect me home and to let her know what had happened. She got in touch with Kenny and somehow, someway he tracked me down. The phone rang and it was him...that's when I lost it. I can remember being numb and just needing to get through it and then as soon as I heard Kenny's voice, it all became very real and very scary.

She was eventually diagnosed as having two VSDs (ventricular septum defect) and we had to make a number of visits to a pediatric cardiologist. Those were heartwrenching as Lorie was a very healthy, robust type of child and when we'd go to the cardiologist there would be parents in the waiting room with their babies who were thin and obviously not doing well. Lorie was released from the cardiologist's care when she was two. They determined that the holes had closed.

Seems like yesterday sometimes...I am so grateful for my girl!