Dec 31, 2013

Well, this is it! The last day of 2013. I can't put off making New Year's Resolutions much longer...tomorrow is January 1st!

Thinking about this last year, I'm a little discouraged. How have I grown as a person? As a wife? As a mom? As a woman? I did get out of my comfort zone and go back to school...which is something I've only thought about doing until this past August. But other than that, I just don't feel like I grew much, which is pretty sad. Over the past 364 days I've not changed much. Maybe instead of resolutions, I need to make goals for this year? Then when the inevitable happens and I slope backwards, I'll pick myself up and move forward again. Goals are very fluid, to me. Maybe not so rigid as "resolutions". Maybe I'm just kidding myself. But then I have such an issue with being a procrastinator and having a WHOLE YEAR to accomplish a goal seems like I could procrastinate a lot!

Some goals to consider: becoming more healthy. That includes how I eat and how I spend my time which means...a more active lifestyle. Yes, I'm rolling my eyes at myself. That also includes changing how I eat, how I clean, my whole outlook on life. Right now, comfort and ease is the key to my life. I do like to be comfortable and I don't like to have to work too hard. Geez, I sound like a teenager. Another goal I'd like to have is to work on my relationship with the Lord. That's a fluid thing. Sometimes I feel so close to Him and sometimes I feel like I'm just going through the motions, kinda a bad thing for someone on staff at church. Another goal I feel drawn to is being a better wife. Poor Ken. He puts up with so much from me. I'm not the best support or helpmate for him. Last, the kids. I'm really feeling the years passing and that there isn't much time left as Mom with a capital "M". They are preparing to start lives of their own where my opinion isn't that big a deal to them.

I'm sure there's more kicking around in my head and heart but those are the top things that pop in my head when I think of things I need to work on. Yes, temper, time management and my mouth are also top things...but I think those will all get worked on with the other goals I've mentioned.

2014...just seems so, well FUTURE-y.

12 Days of Christmas

I don't really get it. And I think that's okay. I hope it's okay with others. But from the comments I read on someone's organizing FB page, I'm thinking, probably not. So, we have the 12 days of Christmas, which, to me, is a song that I get mixed up all the time. For others, it's how they celebrate (and from the tone of their comments, it's how ALL should celebrate).

So, backstory. While I've been sick I've looked around and found some different organizing sites that appealed to me. Today while scooting around www.organizingmadefun.com I wandered on to her FB page and there was a picture of neatly stacked totes with the caption. "Done. Are you?" Now a good chunk of people either said, no, or mentioned that they don't take down their decorations until after New Year's or Epiphany but there were a couple who were outright nasty! One said something really snotty that implied that THEY were more family oriented because they left their Christmas crap up until Jan 6th and that the FB author was a show-off and not as "good" as they were because she'd gotten her Christmas decorations pulled down. I was shocked! Seriously! I know that there are people who forget the old adage "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" (which, if you've read any of my posts is kinda ME to a T, but I'd never get snotty on someone else's FB page or blog, geez!)  or the fact that they don't HAVE to say something if they don't agree with her. It's not like her salvation is in jeopardy because she *gasp* took her Christmas decorations down on Dec 27th! Aren't there other things to get hyped up about?

By the way, it's December 30th and my Christmas decorations are down, toted up (thanks to Meg) AND (thanks to Kenny3) stored in the garage attic! My house feels so open and, well, homey! I'm kinda in the mood to clean out a couple cabinets! Wait, what?! Did I say that?!

Oh, what a day!

I'm still sick, but I think I'm on the other side of the mountain. I gathered up the energy to go to the movies with the girls so I didn't disappoint. I  hate the number of times I've screwed up something because I was sick. We went to see, "Frozen." Cute movie and so sweet that the love part of the movie was the bond between sisters. Aw! Lorie took us out to Don Tellos which was strange since I'm not very hungry and I can't taste much. :)

We came home and I stayed out in the living room with the girls instead of holing up in my room. I tried to make Forgotten Chicken but put it in the crockpot on low like a moron since I only had 4 hours before dinner. Guess what? The chicken wasn't done so I had to put it in the oven which dried it out. Ah well, the rest of them liked it.

I bought "The Daniel Plan" and oh, my, Kenny is never going to go for that! I'm not sure I'm up for it, to be honest. I know in my mind that eating clean is better for me but is a whole lot of thinking to do in order to eat stuff I don't like and don't wanna learn to like. Maybe I can do it for 40 days like the book touts. If I do, I'll wait until Kenny and Lorie go back to school. In the meantime, I can at least pay attention more to what I'm eating. Guess I should not push Meg to finish making those cookies and desserts I bought the stuff for!

I also found www.aslobcomesclean.com . I wish I could remember where but I don't. Maybe via Bloggy Moms? That sounds about right. I posted a comment on her Facebook page which Anne saw and the next thing ya know, she's joined and posted a comment, too! I love my sisters. I did manage to declutter a couple things: one of the junk drawers in the kitchen (the small one), my drawers and cabinet under the sink in the bathroom and my nightstand drawer. Yeah me!

So here's my goals for this next week: 1) get healthy already! 2) add 15 minutes of exercise (even just walking in place in front of the tube) every day, 3) wash face and brush teeth each night (I know, I should already do that but I'm a slob, okay?!), 4) take vitamins every day. So, #1 is kind of up to You Know Who but I'm drinking my water and laying low as much as possible. House-wise I'd like to get the cabinets and appliances in the kitchen wiped down, get the Christmas stuff put up, and get the girls hallway painted.

Maybe putting it in print will help keep me accountable. Not betting on it, though. I know me too well.

Pinterest "fun"

I’m not a cook by any sense of the word. However, I do have people who count on eating in the house and don’t really go for the “make a sandwich” thought. Course, I get sick of sandwiches, too, so I can’t really blame them. Since I really can’t stand making up menus and I really get tired of making the same thing over and over, I decided to do an experiment and told all the kids that our meals over Christmas Break would have to be Pinterest recipes. I set up a group board on my Pinterest account (http://www.pinterest.com/tootlyb/) and posted some recipes there. One child out of the four that are home posted a recipe…yep, A recipe. Maybe she posted two. But anyhow, 2 meals out of the 14 days of meals?  Looks like it’ll be Mom’s Choice as usual.

Problem #1…I’m sick. Really sick. We struggled through the first weekend of Christmas Break with takeout pizza. and what was in the house. I rallied on Monday and did 2-hour grocery run that almost took me out. What got me through was knowing that the troops would be ready to help unload the car and put groceries away. Only the troops were still asleep when I got home.

Problem #2…teenagers. Like I said before, the troops were all still sleeping when I got home at 11am so I had to unload the car by myself and put things away. Meg woke up at some point during the process and helped kinda put things away. The troops also slept in the next day so didn’t eat the breakfast I made. This happened the day after Christmas, too. Probably will happen with the casserole I’ve got in the oven right now. I’m starting to wonder why I’m making breakfasts at all. So far, they've not been teenager-y and been really sweet about trying the meals.

So far I’ve made two lunches, 3 breakfasts, and 1 dinner over the past four days.

Lunch 1…7 Can Chicken Enchilada Soup (http://www.highheelsandgrills.com/2013/12/7-can-chicken-enchilada-soup.html )  This was okay. I won’t make it again, though. I prefer Progresso's Chicken Enchilada Soup from the can, to be honest.

Lunch 2…Oven Baked Meatball Sandwiches (http://www.ziplist.com/recipes/671518-Oven_Baked_Meatball_Sandwiches?_szp=78232&_szi=28 ) This was easy and the family liked it. I will make sure to get regular size meatballs next time though. I didn’t check the package and got the humongo-sized ones accidentally and then had to cut them down.

Breakfast #1…Easy Monkey Bread Muffins (http://thefrugalgirls.com/2012/03/monkey-bread-muffins-recipe.html ) These were really good. I put too many biscuit pieces in each muffin tin and the recipe made way too much caramel-ish sauce so I'll have to make adjustments for that. It's also fairly time consuming because you have to cut the biscuits down and shake them in a sugar/cinnamon mixture before putting them in the muffin tins.

Breakfast #2… Pancake squares (http://www.pinterest.com/pin/241505598741810882/)  I’ve made this before. Super easy and, luckily, it warms up okay.. I left one third plain, put chocolate chips on one third, and blueberries on a third.

Breakfast #3…Breakfast Tater Tot Casserole (http://www.pinterest.com/pin/241505598741810883/ ) I use sausage for the meat layer and country-style hashbrowns for the top. Yummy! I made this for church one morning when it was my turn to bring breakfast for coffee hour. It's cooking right now and smells delish!

Dinner #1… (http://www.pinterest.com/pin/241505598741844628/ ) Dorito Chicken Casserole…I had this down for one of our lunch options but made it for dinner anyhow. The family liked it. I’d rather just have regular tacos or a taco salad, personally.

Today’s lunch is French Dip Crescent Rolls and tonight’s dinner is a Crockpot Pork Loin (which I need to got put together and get started). Fingers crossed!

Ending the year

December 26th?! December 26th?! How did it get to be December 26th?! I guess when you've been sick for over a week, time begins to slip through your fingers. I am still coughing and froggy sounding. After the unfortunate incident at Burlington with my digestive system (which I will not enlighten you about...I'm that embarrassed about it), I stopped taking the Mucinex DM and the antibiotic. I also decided yesterday that something had to give and realized that I really think that the coughing is from all the snot my sinuses are making. I started taking Benadryl every four hours. It's probably time for me to take it now since I can feel the snot sliding down my throat as I type. Gross, I know.

We survived another Christmas and I've ended Christmas thinking the same thing I have the last 20-odd Christmases...I want to budget throughout the year and not wait until I get a Christmas budget the week before Christmas. I want to send Christmas cards! I want to have thoughtful, interesting presents. Hubby has said that he's creating a budget for 2014 and I hope we can stick to it. I've already got what I want to do for Sandra picked out and have an idea for Mom as well.

I guess it's also time to start working up the New Year's resolutions I won't be able to keep. Those I'm kicking around:
1. blogging more consistently
2. being more intentional about my friendships
3. figuring out the job situation
4. weight and health under control
5. spending more time with the girls and being more communicative with the college kids
6. being more communicative with Daddy and Mom. Hate that I let so many days go by without contacting them.
7. being more intentional with my spiritual life...maybe journaling would help.

Guess I need to firm those up...but I've got a couple days. Ha! I guess I should add something about working on my procrastination issues to the list!

I'm seeing spots!

About 8-10 years ago (give or take) I noticed that my years of being a Florida girl and baking in the sun (and, unfortunately, putting my face too close to a sunlamp my mom had and frying my face more than once) has taken its toll on my skin. I have these “lovely” dark spots and yucky looking skin that bothers me a bit. Just a bit. Not enough to actually spend a lot of time or money on it, just enough to get irritated that drugstore foundation isn’t good enough quality to even out my skin tone. But the other night I saw a commercial for a mask from Garnier that is supposed to help with dark spots and evening out skin tone.

I looked for it at Wally World the next time I was there (and remembered the commercial, so it was probably 4-5 Wally World trips…meaning maybe 2 weeks from the time I saw the commercial). When I got home and checked it out, it wasn’t a mask like I know, where you put slimey stuff on your skin and then wash it off. It was an actual mask that you unfolded and put on your face! It has eye, nose and mouth holes. The model on the box showed that it fits you like a glove…if you put a glove on your face. So, anyway, I finally got around to doing my mask on Sunday night. I washed and dried my face like the package said and then opened the mask packet and unfolded it and applied it to my face. I didn’t end up looking like the model. I ended up looking like something from a film showing people who had had surgery on their faces. It just didn’t “fit”. I tried yanking on it, stretching it, manipulating it any way I could think of and then finally just left it alone and sat down for the needed 10 minutes. While I was waiting for the mask to work its magic, I did a search on Google for reviews on this product and ran across on that raved about cloth masks and how wonderful they were and this way. She claimed that she was able to stretch and manipulate the mask so it fit on her face nicely. What?! I still don’t get it.

 

The end result was that while I didn’t notice instant brightening, like the box claimed, I will do it two more times this week and twice next week (there’s a total of 5 masks in the box) because I'm too cheap not to use it now that I've opened the box.  I did notice that my skin was very soft, the jury is out on if it will help the dark spots. But the look on my son’s face when he came into my room while I was ‘masking’ was totally worth all the trouble!

Rainy Saturday

This day had such possibilities! Even though it's rainy and gray and kinda dismal. Hubby took the dogs on out their early morning walk so I got to stay snuggly and toasty warm in the bed. Then there was some morning cuddles with the fur-babies. Barring the doggy breath and doggy stink, it's a sweet time. I tried to roll over and go back to sleep but all I could do was think of all the things I needed to do. So ya know what I did? I actually got up, took a shower and got ready for the day! I put some cinnamon rolls in the oven, did some laundry and started working on some of the multitude I needed to get done today. I was getting nice and organized when it was time to get Jo and Claire and head out for their All-State Band Auditions. Claire had an 11:04 audition and Jo an 11:10 so I had suggested that Claire spend the night last night and I take them both. I'm known for being tardy so I really wanted to get there on time. We were actually way early so we stopped at Subway for breakfast (highly recommend their breakfast wraps, by the way) and then we were off. Unfortunately, this ran just like every other musical venture I've had to deal with (with the exception of the school's Prism concert which runs like clockwork every year) and everything was running late. Jo didn't get into the audition room until 12:50! By the time we got out of there we were exhausted and not really up to taking care of all the things that needed to be done. I'm not in my "zone" any longer and am taking up way too much time whining about people who have no time management skills always in charge of my time.

But I've made myself revise and edit the schedule and get my mind back in the game. I'm back on track and ready to rumble. At least I was until I realized that it was after 6 p.m. and I hadn't even thought about dinner. Dang it.

This, that, and spaghetti sauce

Okay, so anyone who knows me knows I don't feel like I 'm a good cook. I can get a meal on a table, but it's not my favorite thing to do. My repertoire is sadly lacking. But since the people I feed don't really like a lot of things, that works to my advantage.

So the other night I thought we were going out to eat. Around 6ish I wandered into my husband's home office and asked if we were going out soon and it was decided that, eh, we really didn't want to go out. Unfortunately, the cupboard was lacking several essentials for making any of my fallback meals. I could have made tacos but I got the nose sneer from the 14-year old. I took a gander at what I had on hand and then hit Google. To paraphrase Crocodile Dundee, "Me and Google, we be mates."

I had a can of tomato paste and some bowtie pasta and some ground beef. Surely, SURELY, there's a way to make spaghetti sauce out of tomato paste with no sauce, puree, or tomato chunks available. I ran across someone's recipe online (I'll have to dig into my history on the computer at home tonight cuz I want to give credit where credit is due). I did some tweaking of my own, not because I thought it needed it, but because I thought I needed to do SOMETHING. So here's, in a weird nutshell, what I did:

I added 1/2 cup olive oil to a 12 oz can of tomato paste and let it cook together (stirring occasionally) while I boiled the pasta and browned the meet. I added no telling how much garlic powder, Italian seasoning, oregano and basil (and, yes, I realize that the Italian season probably had all that stuff in it, but, like I said, I was doing it just to do something cuz I felt like I needed to add something) and seasoned salt. After the pasta was done, I added the pasta water to the paste/oil combo until it was the consistency I wanted and then added the meat. I drained off the rest of the pasta water and then added the sauce to the pasta. As One Fabulous Mama say, "Amazeballs!" I selfishly yanked out some from the pot to take to work the next day so when the hubster came back for 3rds, there was none.

And yes, I'm very proud of myself. And, I may never buy spaghetti sauce again!

Proud of my last name!

Let me just go ahead and put this out there. My father-in-law is the senior pastor of the church my family attends. My husband is the associate pastor. And, yes, I can see how that looks bad. Like there’s some kind of familial power play going on. So, yes, again, I can understand how it looks that I’m being voted on to be the children’s director. But here’s the thing. Should my being related to the pastor(s) really have any bearing on whether or not I get the job? I understand the whole nepotism thing in business. However, in a church setting don’t you want people in positions that they are gifted for and for which they are called? For some people, the answer is “no.” They want to accuse my family of trying to control everything. So my question is, when I stepped up to fill the position as interim children’s director giving the leadership six months to pray over the situation and receive resumes of interested people, why didn’t these people step up? Why didn’t they go to friends and make sure anyone they knew who might fit the bill knew about it and applied? If it’s such a big deal, why did they do nothing but sit back and gossip? How does that fix anything?

I was very upfront with the leadership when I interviewed for the interim position and have been upfront with anyone who talked to me about it, if someone came along whom the leadership felt God had placed here, I would willingly step aside. I did not want to get in the way of the Lord’s plans for Bethel. I still don’t. But in the six months I’ve been interim children’s director, there have been no resumes submitted for the position. (In full disclosure, there was one resume and one interest letter submitted when the position was opened and the first children’s director was hired, the one I replaced, but those parties weren’t qualified then and they aren’t any more qualified a year later now that the church is looking for a children’s director again.)

On top of that, I don’t particularly like feeling like a pawn in someone’s vendetta to get back at Leadership. Just because you don’t like someone doesn’t make them a bad leader. On the same thought, just because you are friends with someone doesn’t automatically make them a good leader…which is why I understand how bad it looks to have so many same last names lined up under staff.

I don’t know. I guess I wish we could all just sit down and talk like adults. But that’s not as much fun as sitting in a pew muttering snide comments to your audience, is it?!

Hello, Mr. Sun!

I saw the sun today! I know that doesn’t seem like a big deal but it has been so very dreary, gray, and rainy the last week. Oh, and cold. Cold and wet. Today started out that way but by the time I got out of school the sun was shining. It was still cold. But, joy, the sun was shining. I think they are calling for rain this weekend again so I am hoping to enjoy the couple days of sunshine coming.

Tomorrow is Kenny’s work’s Christmas luncheon so I’ll go in early to put in my half day and then have the rest of the day free. I believe I’ll spend it getting dog food and getting the oil changed in the car. Woo-hoo, do I know how to have fun or what? Thursday and Friday are going to be devoted to getting ready for my one and only final (OT Survey).

I can’t believe that not only am I actually taking college courses (finally) but that I’ve just finished my first semester. I took 2 courses this semester and will take 3 next semester. Fingers crossed!

The kids and Kenny have been so encouraging. I imagine the novelty will wear off…for all of us. But now that I have Physical Science out of the way, I think all the rest of the courses are either Bible or related to my major (Biblical counseling).

But for right now? I’m enjoying being spoiled a bit as Megs makes dinner (dessert is turtle brownies a la mode!) and I sit on the couch feeling slightly queasy. I’m hoping it’s the Son of Baconator combo that I ate for lunch and not the stomach virus that seems to be going around. Jo stayed home today because of chucking first thing this morning. She’s still feeling a bit off but no other stomach (either end) issues so it may have just been snot-on-stomach that caused the problem.

My apologies, Mr. Gaither!

My sincerest apologies to Mr. Gaither and his Homecoming people for the sneeriness of my attitude. Last night I went to the Gaither’s Homecoming Christmas concert at the Gwinnett arena. We go every year with the church. It’s funny…every year I sneer and make snide remarks and huff and puff my way to the concert and every year I’m absolutely blown away as some of the performances (Isaacs and David Phelps…I looking at you!!!). I think it’s the banter that gets me. Don’t get me wrong, some of it is cute and funny but it’s so rehearsed. They do a good job to try to make it NOT seem so rehearsed but things run too, well, smoothly for the bobbles to be real bobbles. But then I don’t like Duck Dynasty for the same reason. I know there are lots of people who watch and enjoy the show and find them to be genuinely hilarious. And they may very well be hilarious…the first time they cut a remark. However, by the time they film it? It’s rehearsed and forced and someone like me just can’t get around that. Which is strange because I am truly so easily amused. My kids (well, my 14-yr old, mainly) get embarrassed because of the things that crack me up.

Case in point, a couple weeks ago Jo and I are at the pediatrician. We are in the waiting room and they have Sesame Street on the TV. Jo’s texting on her phone and I’m playing Candy Crush (don’t judge). Anyhow, it’s an Elmo section of S.S. and the following busted through my Candy Crush zone and tickled me. Elmo was talking to a fish or a turtle or some creature like that, I didn’t stop to check, and he says, “What do you do? Elmo doesn’t know much about you other than you swim around and say ‘forsooth’ a lot.” Okay, so right now at this very moment, that doesn’t sound funny. But at that moment in time in the pediatrician’s office? Pure comedy magic. So I’m cracking up (and I don’t laugh softly) and in my defense, I did NOT snort  (it happens when I laugh sometimes) but Jo was mortified. Of course, once I explained, and I did the Elmo voice, she softly laughed, too. Softly. She takes after her father.

Kenny and I can be watching the same show and I’m rolling around laughing at something and he’ll just be looking at the screen. When I ask him if he didn’t get the joke (it happens) he’ll say something like, “No, I found it funny. But just not funny enough to laugh hysterically at” at which point he gives me “the look.” <sigh>

Sheesh!

Bloggy moms

Well, I did it. I finally joined one of the blogging sites, Bloggy Moms. I felt like I needed a little more accountability with my blogging (and probably a heck of a lot more accountability on the spelling, grammar and readability of them, too). I spent a little time reading over my past blogs and I've come to the following conclusions:
1) I don't talk near enough about my kids, life, love, or lessons learned from them.
2) I'm pretty much a major whiney-butt. I mean, I'm not surprised by that fact but having post after post after post with whine, whine, whine, whine, whine, whine (and more whine) and wowzers. Might want to check that attitude, Mrs. Stokes!
3) Spelling is waaaay more important that I give it credit for! I definitely need to go back over those old posts with an editing eye.
4) I didn't understand what in the world I was talking about sometimes so if anyone ever deigned to read this blog, they'll be hopelessly lost!
5) If I'm going to continue to blog, I need to be a little less doofy about it.

So I'm about to pop over to BloggyMom.com and peek at what they have by way of community and tips and see if I can have a bit more fun with my blogging and maybe this time next year I can look back and smile at the memories that I've committed to the Blogosphere.

Bittersweet memories...

Time with my older kids is always so bittersweet. This past week was Thanksgiving. I had all the kids but D. home. Of course, if D had deigned to bless us with her presence, this past week would have been all about her so as much as it pains me to say it, it was probably best that she wasn’t here. I’m still praying that she’ll get all her issues sorted out and contact the kids and work through the conflicts.

ANYHOW, Big Kenny flew Lorie home as my Christmas present. We decided to surprise the kids with her visit. It was so funny when she walked into the house. Meg was sitting in the family room on her laptop and looked up and said, “Lorie! What are you doing here?” Apparently, that was very similar to what Lorie said to Meg when Mom flew her up to D.C. to make the drive south. Jo was in her room so I called to her to come to the living room. Lorie stood at the gate with her head popped around the corner so when Jo opened her bedroom door, the first thing she saw was Lorie’s smiling face. K3 was so cute. Big Kenny asked him if he wanted to go with him as he went “by work” and, surprisingly, K3 said yes. I guess he was that bored and wanted to get out of the house. That’s when BK told K3 that he was actually going to the airport to pick up Lorie. That child’s face lit up and he popped out of the couch.

I love that my kids love each other so much.

But all good things must come to an end. Lorie had to go back to D.C. and K3 had to head back to Point U. I know in my head that they’ll be back in a couple weeks for the Christmas/Semester Break and they be home for almost a month each. But…they’ll still have to go back. I guess that’s just this season of parenthood…watching my babies create their own lives separate from me. And that’s good. But when I hold my friend’s tiny baby it reminds me of own little ones (who aren’t so little anymore). I guess that’s why I’m going back to school. I want to be like my mom who, while she loves her family very much and does so so much for us (including driving up to Atlanta to be at her grandson’s performance), she has her own life. She’s busy with things that interest her. I want to be like that. I know too many people whose whole lives are wrapped up in their kids and I wonder, do they only see themselves as a mom? I love being a mom but I don’t want it to be my whole life or define me as a person.

And that’s bittersweet, too, knowing that things will never be the way they were.

Photo-bombed!

Okay, so if you know me at all, you know that I love a good "fart" picture. What is a fart picture, you may ask? Well, it's a photo where at least one person is smiling away and the other(s) in the photo are making a face. So, someone (usually the smiler) has let one loose and the other(s) are reacting it. See? A fart picture! (Why, yes, I'm 8 years old mentally. Thank you for pointing that out.)

A recent photo funny that has gained popularity is photo-bombing, wherein while someone's getting their photo taken, someone else jumps in, or pops up in, the photo. A good one cracks me up. This is one from the other night. We were out to dinner with friends and I had gotten my hands on my friends' baby and asked Meg to take a picture of our preciousness. My other friend Barbie photo-bombed this photo spectacularly. I can't look at it without cracking up. Perfection!!!

Warning: Brain Fart!

Ask me how I’m doing. Go ahead, ask! Well, since you’ve asked, I’ll tell you. I’m in the middle of a morning-long brain fart. I’ll give you an example of how my brain’s working/not-working today. Check out the photo below.  

 

 

I was going through the laptop checkout sheets and matching them with an Excel spreadsheet of who had what computers to make sure that both lists were the same (there was a burble in the system and some teachers didn’t get the machine they were assigned). I’d started checking them about a month ago and vaguely remembered making a mark on the sheets I’d checked but I couldn’t find my mark. I did, however,  wonder what in the world the “28” that was penciled in by the machine’s serial number meant. So I started the project over. I got about 10 sheets in when I realized that the “28” was actually my “TS” mark! Yep, I’d penciled that in and didn’t even recognize my own handwriting!

 

And THAT just about sums up how I’m doing today! J

Lousy for sleep

I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t tired. I know that there were days when I was energetic, but I can’t remember them. I wonder if it’s the amount of time I spend on the computer. If it’s the fact that I’m a sedentary little (well, big) thing and don’t exercise my body to the point that IT’S tired. Maybe it’s the medication, the reading, the TV…oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m always worried about something that needs to get done.

Right now my house is completely torn apart because of the new laminate we (read: Kenny and the girls, I mostly sat and watched) put in. I have to put together the final touches on my lesson tonight but my head is swimming with plans for moving shelves and making the house look like our home and not a hoarder’s home. I’m also up to my eyeballs in stuff to do at work, but I can’t find the energy to do anything about it. I hate walking into classrooms because most of the time I either get told something else they want me to do, I can’t fix it so I have to leave them disappointed or I get the 3^rd degree on what I’m touching and whether or not I’m messing it up.

Oh crap…I forgot about school. I’ve got to make time to listen to my lectures, read the book, and take the test.

Poo!

Well, hello, November!

So it’s Tuesday and, wow, is it a Monday-feeling kind of day. I must have caught up on the extra hour we got because of the time change this past weekend because I could honestly lay my head down on my desk and go to sleep.

Yesterday was the first of my two doctor appointments scheduled for this week. It was my check-up on my thyroid. Now usually my appointment goes a little something like this:

Me: I’m fatigued and gaining weight

            NP: Your numbers are in the normal range. You should exercise

Okay, so I know I should exercise. I get that. But I. Am. Exhausted. It’s all I can do to drag myself to work, come home and put something on the table, or do the evening activity (if there is one).  If I had a smidge of energy, I would exercise. But, anyhow, I go into the appointment yesterday and this is how it goes:

                NP: So last time we discussed your weight gain. Have you had any other symptoms?

                Me: Yes. I’m super fatigued, have stomach issues, and am doing that brain fog thing again

NP: Well, I’m glad we chose to track your numbers because they have fluctuated. You are still in the normal range, but we listen to what your body is saying. With all your symptoms, I feel comfortable changing your dosage.

Say what? I’ve been going to this endocrinologist’s office for almost 5 years. The only time my meds have been adjusted is when I accidentally got to speak to the doctor instead of the nurse-practitioner and HE said that he wanted to listen to what my body was saying. I’m not complaining (okay, so I guess, technically I am), but sheesh! Anyhow, today is my first day on the new meds. It’ll take about 2 weeks for it to really kick in and me notice anything (if it makes a difference). I have to go back in 6 weeks for bloodwork and for them to check and see how I’m doing.

Tomorrow is the BIG appointment. I have to be near Jonesboro by 9:30 a.m. People keep asking me who is going with me. No one.  Kenny said he’d go with me but when he checked his calendar, sure enough, he’s got some big project going on. Sandra, Frances, and even Mom offered to come with me. I think I just want to go by myself. I’m not sure I could handle an hour of small talk during the drive down and then small talk during the wait at the office. And with the appointment being anywhere from 30 minutes to up to 3 hours (if they have to do a biopsy), I just would rather take a book and suffer through it all in silence.

I’m a little stunned by it all. On one hand, I know that it’s 99.9% going to be a cyst. The radiologist said it was probably a cyst. But then, as the radiologist put it, it’s not 0% not cancer.

I wish I had some get up and go. But it got up and went when I wasn’t looking!

Pink Waiting

I’ve got a decision to make about a 5mm spot in my right breast. I’m trying to not think about it (aka “worry”) until I talk to my doctor and get her opinion, but with it being October/Breast Cancer Awareness month, I’m having a really hard time. Everywhere you look you see pink. So every time my eye hits a pink ribbon or pink shirt, I think “breast cancer” and that leads me to my own personal issue. I know what the radiologist said, he’s pretty sure that it’s nothing to worry about and that’s what I’m taking away from this. But at the same time, as the radiologist kept saying, “It’s not 0% that it’s breast cancer.” Thanks, dude. I’m a little concerned that I haven’t heard yet from the doctor. They called on Wednesday to schedule the follow-up mammography that I had already done the day before. On Thursday the hospital called to schedule a biopsy that I hadn’t discussed with my doctor. So it’s been 6 days since my followup mammography and I’m ready to know what to do already.

 

Waiting sucks. It sucks more surrounded by pink.

This, that, and the other

This...I stopped with the Plexus. I just seemed to be so tired and depressed all the time. And, frankly, I didn't like having to keep putting stuff in my body (even though they claim it's all-natural...cuz I've never seen that pink stuff or those pills in nature). So we're back to the drawing board and I guess I need to do what I know to do and adjust my eating habits and exercise, dangit.

That...my mammogram was wonky. I'm actually not sure what to think. Trying to remember exactly what the radiologist's office said is giving me headaches. I think she said that they couldn't read the right side and though they saw something. But I may be projecting. All I know for sure is that I have to go back in today and that I have to stay until they can give me the results. If its just that the first tech didn't take a good enough image, then I'm going to be fried about having to pay $192. But if it is how I remember-ish the conversation and he wants to double-check and get other views...then I'm okay. $192 is a small price to pay for piece of mind.

Other...dangit my mouth seems to have gotten me in trouble again. Here's the background. I decide to take the CM to a corn maze. But I know from past experience that we won't get a lot of response from just the CM level, so I open it up as a family event (and also so that I'm not trying to keep up with a bunch of kids dropped off on me, family event means adults need to come too). But somehow the teens see it as a teen even and I'm dumped with about 25 of them. Fast forward to being at the maze and a bunch of the adults are sitting the refreshment tent. It's pretty big. There have to be at least 100 people sitting or standing inside that tent. A woman approaches our table and asks if we are with the group of teenager to the side, and we are, and then proceeds to tell us that some of them had been throwing corn in the maze and one of them hit her husband and almost hit her and her kids and when called on it, the response was, "So?" Well, this is my trip. I'm the one that put it together and I'm on the church staff so you would think that the parents would defer to me but no. My friend bellows out one of the kid's names. The entire tent goes silent and looks our way as my friend continues to bark out orders. I decide the better part of valor is to get my husband and the elder that came with us. Now you would think that once the pastor got involved that my friend would back down and let him handle it, but no. Things are continuing to be ugly and loud so I look to my friend's sister to help get my friend out of there and I get a shrug. The elder shows up at the scene and we tell him what's going on and he just takes control of the situation by physically removing my friend. So fast forward a bit. The elder and my husband have the boys in question to the side and are discussing things. No idea where my friend is. The rest of us are talking about how scary that could have been when I call out my friend's sister for not helping us get my friend out of the way. Fast forward again to that evening. Everyone is back and all kids have been picked up and we are finally home. I see in my newsfeed a status posted by my friend's sister that reads, "when people are talking about a sibling they better make sure that their sibling isn't nearby." Then I get a text from another friend saying that my friend's sister is talking about ME! Then I see a status from my friend to her sister saying "thanks for having my back." Now I'm a little baffled here. I knew my friend's sister was in the group. I spoke to her about not helping with the situation. If I had gone into inappropriate conversation about her sister, isn't the grown-up thing to do to say to the person, you are talking about my sister and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop? Instead you go to your sister and talk about ME? Isn't that a little hypocritical? Cuz when other people talk about my friend, I defend her. THAT'S what having someone's back is about! I mean, I thought I left high school behind about 20+ years ago. I can't believe that I'm having to deal with high school behavior from 40+ year old women!

I don't have the time, inclination or the energy to deal with it, but deal with it I must.

Getting squished

Got my mammogram today. Not because it's October-Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It just happened. :) But I got a pink compact mirror out of the deal. :) And squishy. The girls got their second Gardisil (HPV) vaccine...now I've got to make sure to schedule the last one in four months. I think it ended up taking two years to get Lorie all the way done. I'm such a schmuck.

Hot Potato took the day off and played with cars (all but the Equinox need work) and we got the doggies groomed. Boy does Lindy look nice. She's almost a decent looking dog now, poor thing. Now he's cleaning the doggie pee laden carpets in the living room and our bedroom. I did remember to weigh and measure this morning. Not wonderful, because I was expecting miracles. But good. One more week to go and then I have to figure out if I want to try another month of this stuff.

                   9/17 (start)    9/24        10/1            10/8          10/15 (end)       diff.
Weight     181.0 lbs      178.4         175.8          175.4                                  -5.6
Bust          37.5 in         37               37               36.5                                   -1
Chest        32 in            32               32                32                                       0
Waist        34.25           33.5           34                33                                     -1.25
Hips          44.5             43             44                 43                                      -1.5
Butt           47                46.5          46                 45                                      -2

Good heavens... 10 minutes...REALLY?!

Okay, so I made an appointment for the girls to get their second Gardisil shot over Fall Break but then something happened that is going to make it really hard to get the girls there (not gonna tell, it's a secret. Okay so I know no one actually reads this, but on the really, really small chance that someone should stumble across it, or remember that I have a blog and come over and read it, it would spoil everything and then I would feel BAD). Anyhow, so I've been putting off calling the doctor. Well, no, that's not true. I did call early last week but managed to get in the last 5 minutes of their hour and half lunch time. And then for the next few times I remembered that I needed to call, it was either 7:30 in the morning (too early) or that in that same hour and a half lunch time. I'm home today feeling yucky (again...stayed home yesterday and slept most of the day. Hate that I still feel like I need tons of sleep) and thought, Self! Made the stupid call already. So I traipsed out to the car to get my calendar and came back inside and made the call. As soon as the receptionist heard I wanted to change an appointment, I got put on hold. For 10 Minutes! Yes, I should have hung up after 5, well, maybe 3, but I'm that kind of person. I'd rather hang on for a freakishly long time and gripe about it then do the sensible thing. Gah. Anyhow, after 10 minutes I finally hung up and immediately called back. This time when I said I wanted to change an appointment, they changed it right then. I felt like asking if they needed to get to the person that was on hold waiting to change their appointment. But I didn't. Because that would have been petty. And stupid.

10 minutes...I'm still a little stunned about waiting that long. See what Marching Band practice going late Every Single Day does to a person? It makes waiting on the phone for 10 minutes seem like nothing! I'm scarred for life! Okay, no, I'm not. I just a weinie who whines. Great. I'm a whiney weinie. That's not happy. Shoot. I'd like to say I need to change that, but that would just be a lie. And being a lying whiney weinie? That would just about take the cake. Oooo, cake. I could go for a piece of cake.

Disappointment times 2

This week's Plexus Slim numbers come to you with a little disappointment. My weight continues to drop a bit...but it was down a half a pound more over the weekend. And I've put back on inches, which disappoints. Overall, I'm still down both in weight and inches which is good, but I seem to be see-sawing, which is bad.

                   9/17 (start)    9/24        10/1            10/8          10/15 (end)       diff.
Weight     181.0 lbs      178.4         175.8                                                     -5.2
Bust          37.5 in         37               37                                                           -.5
Chest        32 in            32               32                                                            0
Waist        34.25           33.5           34                                                          -.25
Hips          44.5             43             44                                                             -.5
Butt           47                46.5          46                                                             -1

My other level of disappointment comes from the fact that I finished my book. So sad. I've been re-reading Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series in anticipation of the next installment in the series' release in March 2014. But I didn't time it right and I've managed to finish all 7 with 6 months to spare. I have no idea how I managed to do that! Especially with the fact that I have gone weeks without reading because for some reason I <gasp> didn't feel like it. So now I'm stuck. Six Months To Go! I'm so very, very sad. I guess I could start over again ... but that seems a bit freakish to me. Well, more freakish than my normal freakish patterns.

What to do, what to do...

Competition Day

I have a test in Science due by Monday at midnight. On my last three tests I've scored an 86, a 75 and a (gulp) 59. So I really need to get my science mojo in action and figure out how to wrap my mind around this Physics stuff. So what am I doing today? I'm about to head to the high school, board a school bus and go with the band to their first competition. We won't get home until near midnight.

Why do I do this? Because I think it's important for the kids to see me involved in their lives. Right now, I'm pretty much viewed as their personal maid, secretarial, food and organizing service. But one day they, too, will be moms and they'll understand just how much you have to put aside of your wants and wishes and what's best for you so you can be there for your kids. My own mom went back to get her Master's degree when my sisters and I were kids. I don't remember it making a difference to me because, heck, I was a selfish kid wrapped up in my own world.

I just hope I can find the correct balance between being their for my kids but not letting my kids feel like I'm their whole world. I see parents who are so caught up in their own lives, that their kids are no where near a priority list. But then I see parents who have no lives whatsoever because they live through their kids.

At the end of the day, I want my kids to grow up and look back on their childhood and feel like they were supported but not suffocated, that I was there for them but not a mini-them, and that I went to bat for them but allowed them to work through, and sometimes suffer through, their mistakes and the life lessons that they need to learn to be a mature adult.

But in the meantime, better take a potty run, go through my bag and make sure I have everything I'll need and take the dogs out. It's going to be a really long day.

My Plexus Slim journey

Okay, so a lady I know started using a product called Plexus Slim about 5 months ago. She is almost unrecognizable now. I had seen photos of her from high school and thought she had changed a lot. Now that she's lost some weight (and to be perfectly honest, I didn't think she ever looked overweight to begin with (although she said her doctor told her she needed to lose 15 lbs to get in her healthy weight range) but now? She looks just like an older version of her high school photo. So I thought I'd give it a month's try. AND since I'm the only one who reads my blog (I'm so freakin' popular), I'm going to be as blunt and as open as I wanna be. One of the perks of obscurity, I guess.

So I'm a week in. I'm going to guess at a couple of my numbers because I don't have them in front of me. Last Monday night I took a picture of myself in tight clothes from the front and side to document my before (and almost cried). Tuesday morning I weighed and measured. My weight was 181 lbs. I measured my chest (32 in), bust (37.5 in) waist (35 in) hips (45 in) and butt (47.5). This morning I weighed 178.4 lbs. My chest was the same, but was 37, so I lost a half inch there, darn it. I can't remember what the measurements were for the final three...guess I was traumatized by losing the breast fat. I was such a flat-chested thing until I had babies that Flatty here is going to not like losing breast inches even though I know that's stuff that goes. Would really prefer the saddlebags to go bye-bye instead but apparently I don't get to choose. When I get home I'll update. In fact, in the idea of DietGirl, I'll come back and edit in at the end of the blog and try to do that each week.

I am doing the one Accelerator pill and one Plexus Slim pink drink in the morning and taking two of the Priobotic at night (for the first week, I'll take one starting Friday). I didn't start taking the Priobiotic until Friday. My spit test (first thing in the morning, spit into a glass of room temperature filtered water. Wait 30 minutes and see if you have tentacles and how much it's spread out. Still in one glob on top? You are good. Tentacles and spreadage=yeast overgrowth. Lisa (my friend) had some information on her Facebook page about all the symptoms and stuff that yeast overgrowth does. I figured I'd give it a whirl.

The first day, I had an emotional weepy day. Not sure why and neither is Lisa. Could be that I was just emotional and it had nothing to do with PS. I tried taking two Accelerators on Friday because I hadn't slept well on Thursday and because Friday was going to be a long day, but I don't like the way it made me feel. Kinda like I'd had a drink, but not so much fun.

What I've noticed since being on PS a week: I have a bowel movement about 30 minutes after taking the Accelerator and PS in the morning. I am sleeping solid! (woo-hoo), I'm not energized as in Energizer Bunny, but in the aspect that I feel like I can actually get through my day. I'm not as drained at the end of the day. I hope that I see some significant shrinkage in the butt and waist area (and, please, please, please, in my saddlebags) and would love to drop a pant size by the end of the month. It wasn't cheap: $115 for the Accelerator and Pink Drink and another $39.95 for the Priobotic. If I continue, it really needs to work WELL.

                9/17 (start)    9/24        10/1            10/8          10/15 (end)       diff.
Weight     181.0 lbs      178.4                                                                     -2.6
Bust          37.5 in         37                                                                          -.5
Chest        32 in            32                                                                           0
Waist        34.25           33.5                                                                        -.75
Hips          44.5             43                                                                          -1.5
Butt           47                46.5                                                                       -.5

A new way to handle conflict

Okay, so conflict and me seem to go hand-in-hand, but conflict resolution? Not so much. The following devotion really hit home.

http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/

The blahs

You ever feel like you are in the middle of the blah and can’t get out? Yep, me too. In fact, I am Mayor of Blah-town right now. The problem is, I know I shouldn’t be! I have a loving husband, cool kids, a job, a second job, stuff that interests me, cute dogs, and wonderful friends. So why do I feel so blah? The answer is, “I don’t know.” And that scares me a bit. Cuz if I don’t know how I got here…how am I going to get myself out?

I decided to take a break from T.V. because I knew I was wasting a considerable amount of time there. I think I need to take a break from books, too, and read my Bible. I try to read a little every day, but I think I need to do more than that. I think I need to keep at it until I get it read through. I’ve got a small Bible that I bought to keep at my desk at church. I think I may use that as my highlighter Bible. I’d like to highlight verse that have to do with parenting and, of course, verses that just hit my heart.

There was a verse in 2 Samuel that got me…2 Samuel 22:29, “O Lord you are my lamp. The Lord lights up my darkness.” Isn’t that beautiful? I just sit back and smile when that bounces around my head. Probably because I feel so dark, so blah, all the time. He lights up my darkness. He continually does things that make me smile.

Lovely

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

From an email I wrote to a friend:

Okay, just so you know. I consider ourselves to be close enough that if you see that I have something in my teeth, or my fly is down or there's a booger hanging out of my nose...that you would tell me. Okay?! What leads me to this soul-baring revelation?

(Sorry if this gets gross.) This morning when I getting ready for the day and was cleaning my ear I noticed some goop coming from the back of my ear. Up until then, there had only been a little puss coming from the front. I cleaned it up, put the antibiotic cream on it and went on my merry little way.

So just a couple minutes ago I had this "thunk" and went to the bathroom and wet down some Kleenex and held it to the back of my ear and sure enough I saw a little goop so I did the best I could at cleaning it up with cold water and Kleenex.

Now I'm not a big "take pictures of myself in the bathroom" kind of gal so when the thought to use my phone to take a picture of the back of my ear came to me, I decided that Someone upstairs was trying to tell me something. Oh. My. Word. Thank the Lord He did. The entire back of my ear was packed with a greenish-yellow crust. I hightailed it to the main building where they have hot water in the bathrooms and did a hot compress and cleaned off the back of my ear and will probably now check my ear periodically (Anal Girl here probably do it every 10 min) to make sure there is no build up.

So as I'm giggling and grossing myself out, I realize that the back of my ear probably looked nasty last night, too.

Hence this email. You have my permission to let me know when there's something whack-a-doodle including, but not limited to, crusty ears, boogers, bad breath, something in my hair,etc. without worrying about embarrassing or offending me. Okay?! Cuz that's how much I love you and trust you!

 

So, I was right. I am checking my ear about every 10 minutes. It involved using my phone to try to take pictures. I am so grossed out. There is a crusty scab in the middle of my ear that is green....GREEN! B-O-O-G-E-R Green! There is no hot water in this stupid pod where my office is located so if I want to do a hot compress to loosen the booger green scab on the back of my ear, I have to traipse up the hill PAST PEOPLE, including little kids who like to point out that you have a booger green scab behind your ear, to the main building's adult bathroom. It located, unfortunately, by the front office so one can only go in there so many times before they start giving you the wonky eye.

 

I still can't believe I poke a freakin' hole in my own ear. But...on the plus side, I may be able to sleep on that side tonight. It's tender, but it ain't screaming at me anymore!

TV and me

Crap. Crap. And, again, I say CRAP!!!

So, I'll confess. I am a TV-aholoic. I am mesmerized that the boob tube. I can spend an entire day in complete bliss with an "a-thon" of one of my favorite mind-numbing shows (Project Runway, America's Next Top Model, Ink Master, House Hunters, oh...the list goes on and on). Add in the pantry being full so I can indulge in any food delight I am craving and I get giddy.

So I'm doing this online Bible study based on the book, "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God." and I'm pretty much stinking at the online part of it. They post things and you are supposed to comment on them to get the most out of the experience. I just didn't anticipate how busy my life would be right now. So I'm putzing along at my own pace.

I'm in chapter 3 (or is it 4?) and the author talks about how she went on a TV-free sabbatical for a time period. And this girl? Said, well, that's good for her but not for me. Now she wasn't advocating giving up TV or saying TV was bad. She was using it as a personal example of something that got in the way of her relationship with God.

This morning I'm in the car on the way to work praying for my day and the people on my prayer list when it hits me. Give up the TV, T. I said the words out loud, I will not turn on the TV (but if someone comes in the room and turns it on or we are doing a family thing, I won't be Debbie Downer). I have gotten into a horrible habit of coming home and turning the thing on and then the to-do list goes out the door. There's always the accompiament of the tube in the background of everything I do at home.

And I'm still cringing. Because I knew that I would back down and punk out on my promise. So I thought I'd put it in writing. Even though no one reads this. But still, it's in writing. I'm going to not turn on the TV until Thanksgiving or until the Lord releases me from this. We'll see how I do. I'm at work where I don't even watch TV but I'm in a bit of a mourning period already.

I'm such a dork.

Dumb and Dumber

Okay, so I'm not proud of what I've done. I feel like an idiot, to be quite frank. I do not know what possessed me to do it but rest assured, I am paying the price to the MAX!

So let me give you a back story...and then another back story. Otherwise this will REALLY make me look like I need a brain scan...instead of just looking like a doofus.

Backstory 1...I have double-pierced ears plus a cartilage piercing in my left ear. I've been thinking for some time that I'd like to get a third level to the piercings but sitting in the middle of WalMart just isn't my style.

Backstory 2...Jo had her ear cartilage pierced a couple years ago. Unfortunately, a keylloid (spelling) developed and we had her remove the earring with the promise that she could get the other ear's cartilage pierced after sports were over. This actually didn't happen until about 3 weeks ago. She was happy, I was the benevolent momma. Then it got infected. We tried to clean it with hydrogen peroxide and swab it with triple antibiotic ointment, but, nope. I was red and inflamed and not happy. So Jo's on a 10-day power antibiotic and I have a piercing earring. That's where my demise began.

So here it is last Thursday. We leave the next morning to take Lorie to American University (sniff, sniff...but I digress). Kenny3 has driven the 2 hours from Point University to be at the house for Lorie's last night with the family (totally bawl moment...again, I digress). I don't know what got into me. I really don't. I wish I could go back and pinpoint what made me do it. I was talking with Kenny3 as  I cleaned out my purse and saw that piercing earring. While we had the conversation (NOT about ear piercing), I rinsed it off in hydrogen peroxide and then proceeded to jam it through my cartilage about halfway between my 2nd piercing in the lobe and my current cartilage piercing. Brilliant, right?! Wrong! Halfway to Washington, D.C. I knew I'd made a horrible mistake. I took the earring out and started picking the scabs that formed. (I know...I'm so embarrassed about typing that. Not exactly first aid 101). I suffered with it Friday and Saturday. Saturday night I raided my sister's first aid kit (sorry, Lori!) and grabbed the only thing I could find...some Neosporin spray. I spritzed my ear down Saturday night and all day Sunday, but I was miserable. Monday found me at the Walgreen's clinic with a raging ear infection. I was given the same antibiotic as Jo and a topical antibiotic cream.

Last night I barely got any sleep. For some reason (karma, much?) my body insisted that it wanted to sleep with that ear down. I tried to arrange myself so that my hand took the weight of my head...but no. Add to that indignity, somehow I got restless legs. I didn't get to sleep until 5 a.m. So here I am at work with about 30 minutes of sleep to my name and a load of work to do once I leave school.

And it's all my own fault. I know it. I feel like a major idiot. But I am fully paying the price for my idiocy. My ear is throbbing and looks a mess between the bright redness and the goopy coating of antibiotic.

Oh but the story gets better. When I was talking about it with Jo, she said that the ear didn't stop hurting until a week later. A WEEK?! Course then I realized that the child got her antibiotic Thursday night so she's only been taking it for 3.5 days (and then she says that she's missed two pills) so I'm hoping that tomorrow morning the day will dawn brighter and happier for me and Mr. Ear.

And I'm done with poking holes in my head. I'm 44...better act like it!

Foot in Mouth and Doofy Brain

Today was Homecoming Sunday. I wasn't in the children's ministry room and worried so much about that. I feel like I should have been there. Plus my mouth and worries kept getting in the way.

Started out the whole foot in mouth thing when my mil comes down to the front while we are practicing and tells us that everything is very slow and there is no excitement. I blurbled that we could either have excitement during practice or excitement during worship. Jeez! I mean, I see her side of things. I do. I've been to all the same seminars she went to 15 years ago at Willow Creek and I know what they said to here. But then I've also had the opportunity that she's never had and that is to attend a larger church and see how it's really done in practice, not just info given in a seminar. Here's the dealio...we are a small church. We only have so many musicians. We are all doing more than one thing at church so there is no time for a musical rehearsal to go over notes and other details AND have a dress rehearsal so we meet Sunday morning. We really can either give her the fakey fake excitement she seems to want so that we are like what she thinks big churches are like or she can let us bang out notes, take things a little slower so that everyone knows their parts (especially with a couple of us not having been on the stage recently) and do what we need to do to prepare so that when worship time comes, we can let go and worship! But still, she didn't deserve me snarking on her.

Kept up the stupidity telling a little girl who was running down the hall with a biscuit that the kids shouldn't be eating in the Sunday school room and then came around the corner and saw that the teacher had ALL the kids eating. Apparently that's been done for years. So I let the little ones bring their food in and, sure enough, there were crumbs all over. Plus, I noticed that someone gave the girls orange SODA to drink. #1...it's breakfast time, SODA? For a 3 and 5 year old? That isn't YOURS?! #2...it's ORANGE! They are 3 and 5. That means they spill. On the carpet. I swear, doesn't anyone think anymore?

Then I didn't say hi to anyone because I was freaking out over the adult in the elementary room not showing up. I didn't say hi. My big thing with this time doing the children's ministry that it was going to be able relationships. And I didn't even say hi.

Finally, after praise time was over and we are getting ready for the sermon, I feel like I need to go around and check the different children's ministry areas to make sure all is going well. I get down to the nursery and the first thing that greets me is a room that looks like it threw up toys. There are 3 adult helpers (one of the deacons stayed to lend a hand), the teen helper and a 3rd grader. I notice the 3rd grader due to the fact that he's stomping around on the toys and then sits on a rocky horse and starts bouncing around. This is his mom's first week in the nursery and for some reason she's decided that it's okay for an 8-year old to be in a nursery that's already packed to the gills with people who are supposed to be in there, babies, toddlers, and toys. I tell her that I'd be glad to take her child to his class since he's not supposed to be in the nursery. Okay, so not most tactful. But then the other helper and the deacon both say that he's a helper! Um, deacon...you were part of the pow-wow about nursery helpers needing to be at least 13 years old and approved by the leadership. Ugh! I did go and speak to the mom after but I couldn't get the situation out of my head during the sermon. Hate that!

So now I'm starting an online Bible study called, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God. I feel like going with the children's ministry was me saying yes. I really am worried about leading this ministry. I got burnt last time. Now I'm getting paid and I feel like there's so much more pressure. I guess I need to pray that God will put a hand over my mouth as well as giving me the strength and leadership I need to lead this ministry.

Oh my.

Summer days...

Geez...where did July go? This blogging thing is harder than it looks. I'm back at work, the girls are at Band Camp, Kenny3 & Lorie have less than 3 weeks left at home and they'll both be at college and we've still not heard from Day. I'm concerned about Kenny, Lorie and Jo. They are having such a hard time dealing with not only the total abandonment but also the accusations that we are bad people because we loved her and welcomed her into our family.

I'm having a hard time organizing myself with working with school, working at church, the dogs, and the house. It's hard not to slip into a poor me attitude. Hopefully once school starts and we can get into a routine, I can get into a routine, too.

The weight's still creeping up and I'm not finding time to exercise.

Oh, and I'm still a whiney-butt.

Today I didn't schedule myself to work because I have a dental apt this afternoon. My plan was to help out at Band Camp, do some housework, do some organization with CM and start working on my lesson for tomorrow. Somehow, I've lost a couple registration forms, I can't focus on the lesson, I can't figure out how to organize myself so I can get some housework done. Wish I liked housework even an eensy bit.

And I'm not really psyched about this dental appointment. Boo.

Vacation, all I ever wanted...

Ah, vacation. It was way too short. Anne and Greg, again, rented FancyPants (which is not called FancyPants anymore) and all 15 of us hightailed it to the beach. I don't know what was different about this year. The week seemed to go by really, REALLY quickly. Maybe because we all "knew" the house and weren't quite as impressed by it all? I can't put my finger on it.

I impressed the kids and the hubster by actually getting in the ocean, not once, but twice! And I got in the pool every day but one.

The storms were pretty impressive. Once really and truly did look like the mothership in the clouds. But, luckily, the lights stayed on. Or maybe unluckily. Last year when the lights went out is when everyone kind of bonded.

I'm kind of ready for the Las Vegas trip...kinda. I'm a little worried about taking another week off. I hope what I'm doing with the church makes up for the vacations. But it IS the summer. I'm pretty much homebound for the school year because of my job. Ah well, I can only do what I can do. They either love me or they don't.

OH, and I'm .2 lb lighter than I was before I left for the beach. I really think it's the birth control pills. But I ache so badly when I don't take them. What to do, what to do.

Lights out!

Major storms came through last night. The Kennys game at 8 got canceled. We hunkered down to watch a movie and enjoy the light show out the windows. What we didn't count on was the electricity going out. Plus we were right in the middle of the place where the storm WASN'T. We got some thunder and some lightening, but not much. So it was hot, humid and boring. Kenny put Star Trek on his phone and we watched that until the battery died. Everyone went their separate ways by 10. I got woken up around midnight by the lights coming back on and the TIVO powering up. Boy that's a noisy program! I got the house settled and then headed back to bed. Wish I could figure out why I feel like a Mack truck mowed me down today!

Get the facts, people!

Okay, pet peeve time! Again. Why, why, why do people let themselves get all het up about something when they don't have all the facts? And why, why, why when they find out the facts do they not apologize and move on? When did being wrong about something become the worst thing in the world? Being wrong doesn't make you a bad person. Clinging to wrong beliefs doesn't either...but it kinda makes you an idiot.

Case in point. Today on the news they are showing the story of a public school bus driver who got information from a student that they didn't eat lunch. The reason was because the school wouldn't let him eat as he didn't have any money in his lunch account. So the bus driver decides, for whatever reason, to blast his employer. On Facebook. Now me, myself, and I? I don't take anything a child tells me as fact. I'm sorry. Children are immature and tend to make things bigger than they really are. And middle school students (the child in question was in middle school) are really bad about this. But, this gentleman decided to take as fact what this child said. The school system, of course, saw and investigated. Videos show that the child didn't even go through the lunch line! So how in the world could he have been denied lunch?! Hellooooooo! But the story goes that the school system spoke to the employee about what the video showed and asked him to take down the Facebook post. And he refused. So he was fired.

So now this man's story is all over Facebook and the news media and, of course, people are listening to the part about this poor child who didn't get lunch. But what about the fact that the child lied? What about the fact that the parents didn't put money in the child's lunch account? What about the fact that after the employee knew the real truth, he didn't act in an appropriate manner? He's on the news saying he'd do the same thing again. Really? You'll lose your job over a lie a child told you...AGAIN?

Seriously, I don't understand people. And I am the world's WORST at backing myself in a corner. But if even I can see the stupidity in this? That's saying something!

Paint

We spent a good part of last week painting the JAM room. It turned out cute but I, of course, see all the things that still need to be done that I need to rely on somebody else to finish. I hope to get those finishing detail done and not have it be like everything else in my life...waiting for someone to find the time.

But pushing through to get the painting done gave a nice present...the Sunday school teacher decided to work on her room instead of waiting for my schedule. I'd planned on Monday stripping wallpaper/border and getting the room prepped, Tuesday painting the first coat and Wednesday the second coat. She came in Friday and Saturday and banged it out! So now I'm free to work on other things.

Wish I could get myself out of bed. :) Granted I have made several calls and emails plus done some research in my prone position so I'm not being a total lazy bum. Just a bit of one.'

Geek Squad

Seriously, talk to me and the last thing you'll think is "Geek Squad." I know just enough about computers to be dangerous AND irritating.

Our county school system is strapped for cash because property values in our county took a nosedive. They are making major changes including, but not limited to, removing all media clerks from all schools, making our Technology/Data Specialists share schools (and removing 10 of the 20 positions) and pulling the Intels (that's Instructional Technology Liaison to those of you not in the know) out of the schools to the county-level (but not a county-level paycheck...hmmmm!), removing 10 of the 20 positions and sending them to schools to work on an as needed thing. I actually got picked and was kind of thinking how nice that was. Then I found out that it was based on seniority with RCPS and had nothing to do with knowledge or personality. Now I know that I wouldn't have gotten chosen based on knowledge, but even though I can be quite a pain in the rump on a personal level, on a work level I'm the one to know. I get things done. I go above and beyond and I'm willing to do the stupid things (okay, so I may gripe about the really stupid things...like 2 hr lunch duty, but I still do it).

But no. I have eight years with the county and that's more than at least 7 other people (3 people retired or switched positions at the end of the school year). What is sad is that some of those seven are really nice guys and know computers really well and would be a great addition to the Geek Squad.

The System Support Specialist that is over my school came by while I was working summer clerical hours and gave me the 411. She said that some people were accepted to the Geek Squad that they wouldn't have chosen. But then when I said that my principal was trying to figure out how to keep me, she said he couldn't have me. So maybe, MAYBE, she didn't mean me.

I'm kind of hoping that they can't find the hours to keep me here now. It would be nice to have the decision be taken out of my hands.

Crap. I make a sucky adult!

Graduated!

She did it! My Lorie-loo graduated high school last Thursday. And, as always, she did it with style. She has a 4.25 weighted gpa which made her 3rd in her class (our county does some weird weight thing for the dual enrollment kids that everyone thinks is unfair and the county has changed...but the change goes into effect NEXT year!). As Secretary of her class and one of the ones who actually did stuff, she got asked to give the inspiration speech at graduation (and gave a speech at the Baccalaureate Service). As per usual, the residents of Rockdale County showed their tackiness and lack of manners and decorum and either screeched like banshees whenever anyone they knew's name was either announced or when they walked past to get back to their seat...or they decided to have a loud discussion about their lives because their graduate either had been announced or wasn't announced yet. Either way...it meant that I didn't even get to hear my kid's name announced because of the ridiculous behavior of others. It's not going to get better...I suggest that Rockdale invest in a super p.a. system that blasts so that all names are blared louder than anyone could possibly talk.

But that's just my opinion.


My girl getting her diploma. What a smile!

Mom got here on Wednesday. Dad & Susan got here on Thursday. We all met up at the house and drove to the school. It was plenty hot but a lovely breeze. That lovely breeze ended up blowing pretty hard so it made noise on the mic and Lorie's hat blew off during her speech. But it wasn't a sweatbath like Kenny3's graduation two years ago!

The sisters blew into town on Friday night. We did Lorie's family party on Saturday. Dad & Susan and the Jehns went home early Sunday. Mom and the Haneys stayed for church and I got to see them as I popped in to do Promotion Sunday and watch the graduate video and then for a couple minutes at the graduate reception after church.

Meg left with Mom to spend the month in Olean. I hope the time away is good for her.

Good heavens. I have to go to work tomorrow morning and see what I can pull together that the other secretaries have been working on since school ended. Should be interesting. Also gotta get myself in gear and stop making random plans for CM and actually do something!

Pet peeve # 143

Okay so I really don't have that many pet peeves (well, at least I think I don't) but this one just irritates and totally grosses me out.

Ladies who have small male children, please listen up. If they aren't old enough to go to the bathroom in the men's room themselves and you bring them to the ladies' room. Please, please, PLEASE, clean up after them! Why should I have to clean up urine sprinkles all over the seat. And lest something claim that it's from women "hovering," the sprinkles are all on the back side of the seat. Women who hover back that far have bigger issues than leaving sprinkles.

BUT, speaking of hovering. If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweety, wipe the seatie. I thought that was basic human hygeine, kindness and common sense!

Gack!

Job woes

I work in a public school. We are always having budget problems and they do affect me because I have children so they not having updated technology and resources does affect me. But now...it really affects me because it may be my job on the line.

My "official" positon, and what they pay me for, is INTEL/Instructional Technology Liaison. Fancy name for the computer grunt. I also do data entry since I know the student information system, SchoolMax. Next year we are moving to a different sis, InfiniteCampus, and I have had hours and hours of training on it. Step in the superintendent with the recommendation for the budget, which is  19 million dollars short of what we need. My position will see a reduction-in-force. They will change from having 20 INTELS systemwide at each school to 10. We'll share a school. Guess who is last hired? Yep! I do have 3 years total at being an INTEL and 8 years total with the county so hopefully that will work in my favor.

Add to that, my principal saw me in the hall the other day and pulled me aside to tell me about the r.i.f (he's on the budget committee) and he said that he would find something for because he couldn't not have me here because of the I.C. training and he didn't want to share an INTEL with another school. Fast forward a couple days and we are having our last faculty meeting. I'm watching the clock because I'm supposed to be delivering something to the middle school and time is of the essence. He says he's wrapping the meeting up and then delivers the bombshell...he's leaving. He's going to explore other avenues. I'm not sure what that means for me since a new principal doesn't have to honor the choices the former principal makes regarding classified employees as we aren't under contract.

So now I wait. Pretend everything's okay. And wait.

Geez.....