Bittersweet memories...

Time with my older kids is always so bittersweet. This past week was Thanksgiving. I had all the kids but D. home. Of course, if D had deigned to bless us with her presence, this past week would have been all about her so as much as it pains me to say it, it was probably best that she wasn’t here. I’m still praying that she’ll get all her issues sorted out and contact the kids and work through the conflicts.

ANYHOW, Big Kenny flew Lorie home as my Christmas present. We decided to surprise the kids with her visit. It was so funny when she walked into the house. Meg was sitting in the family room on her laptop and looked up and said, “Lorie! What are you doing here?” Apparently, that was very similar to what Lorie said to Meg when Mom flew her up to D.C. to make the drive south. Jo was in her room so I called to her to come to the living room. Lorie stood at the gate with her head popped around the corner so when Jo opened her bedroom door, the first thing she saw was Lorie’s smiling face. K3 was so cute. Big Kenny asked him if he wanted to go with him as he went “by work” and, surprisingly, K3 said yes. I guess he was that bored and wanted to get out of the house. That’s when BK told K3 that he was actually going to the airport to pick up Lorie. That child’s face lit up and he popped out of the couch.

I love that my kids love each other so much.

But all good things must come to an end. Lorie had to go back to D.C. and K3 had to head back to Point U. I know in my head that they’ll be back in a couple weeks for the Christmas/Semester Break and they be home for almost a month each. But…they’ll still have to go back. I guess that’s just this season of parenthood…watching my babies create their own lives separate from me. And that’s good. But when I hold my friend’s tiny baby it reminds me of own little ones (who aren’t so little anymore). I guess that’s why I’m going back to school. I want to be like my mom who, while she loves her family very much and does so so much for us (including driving up to Atlanta to be at her grandson’s performance), she has her own life. She’s busy with things that interest her. I want to be like that. I know too many people whose whole lives are wrapped up in their kids and I wonder, do they only see themselves as a mom? I love being a mom but I don’t want it to be my whole life or define me as a person.

And that’s bittersweet, too, knowing that things will never be the way they were.