Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Lorie gets to third base

Tonight I forgot that I had nursery duty at church. I'm supposed to have it every fourth Wednesday but for whatever reason, I haven't been in the nursery for awhile. Johanna stayed home sick from school so I was keeping her home from church when Lorie called to tell me that I had nursery and there were 4 babies there. So I grabbed Jo and got to the church. I made Jo stay in Kenny's office and told Lorie to help me out in the nursery. There ended up being only 2 babies but in the end I was glad to have her in there because of the humor factor.

One baby hadn't ever been at church before and when she got sleepy, she got more than a little unhappy. She was actually unhappy at Lorie. For whatever reason, she decided that Lorie was mocking her pain and would cry and sob whenever Lorie would laugh. I rocked her and sang to her and eventually she went to sleep. That's when the fun started and Lorie got "lucky".

The baby she was holding started stinking. Lorie got a panicked look on her face because I told her that she'd have to change him since I didn't think that my baby would let me put her in a crib without waking up and screaming bloody murder. That's when Lorie informed me that she's only changed one other baby "and that didn't go well." I told her tough luck, that she was a smart child and needed to just get on with things. So she takes the baby and get a diaper and wipes out of his bag. Then she sits him on the changing table and looks at him. I suggest lying him down. Apparently this is the point where the other baby she'd attempted to change started pitching a fit and rolling around. She got a scared look on her face and gingerly laid the baby down. This baby, being a bit more good natured, lay down nicely and kept playing with whatever toy Lorie'd given him. He was dressed in overalls, so I told Lorie to look for the snaps between the legs. She said there weren't any and hauled the baby up and started unbuckling him from the top while we argued about whether there really were snaps or not (by the way, I was right...there WERE snaps). So she gets him out of his overalls and laid back down again. In the meantime, I'm laughing as hard, yet as quietly as I can, because I have this sleeping baby on my chest. Lorie crosses her legs and informs me that she's really got to pee. Well, seeing that I've got dead weight on my chest and she's got a half-naked baby on the changing table, I told her that that would have to wait. She tentatively opened the diaper and SURPRISE! false alarm...he'd only been passing gas. She got him in his new diaper and then back into his overalls (sooooo funny) and then back on the floor so she could run down the hall to use the bathroom.

When she got back, her baby was unhappy. She got the bottle out and him in comfy-to-him-horribly-uncomfortable-to-her position and gave him his bottle. At which point he put his hand back and copped a squeeze. So between the open mouth kisses she got at the beginning of the night, him "feeling her up" and her getting up close and personal with his privates, I told her that she'd gotten to third base and didn't even get dinner and a movie out of the deal.

It only got better when as we are leaving the nursery, I caught sight of her from the rear...she really HAD needed to go to the bathroom!!! Add to it being in the car with little Kenny and her arguing about whether or not her knowing how to change a diaper in theory was just as good as being able to actually do it (and from her recent experiences, I'm not sure why Lorie was so adamant about her position) and then them arguing about Kenny's usage of the word "airy" (Lorie said it was "ar-ry" as in saying the letter "r" with a "ry" on the end) only to find out that what Kenny really meant WAS airy and what Lorie really meant was "awry"...well, it was a classic Stokes night!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Inauguration memories

Because the Inauguration was on the day after Martin Luther King, Jr. Day this year, it was considered a "critical day" for Rockdale County Public School employees. That means if you were absent, you better have a note from your doctor. But the cool thing was that it meant we were with all the kids to watch the inauguration festivities! AND we got to watch TV during a school day! I got to work around 6:45 as usual and started getting things ready for my day. As soon as the school's live newscast was over at 7:45 a.m., we changed the channel and watched all the festivities unfold. I got attendance done for the day and then turned in my chair and watched TV and chatted with other school staff and school visitors as they came in. The principal had the swearing in ceremony broadcast on a big screen into the cafeteria so that the kids eating lunch wouldn't miss any of it. The principal and assistant principal went into the cafeteria during the actual Oath so that they could be with the kids. They said that they didn't have to say a word, the kids (5th and 2nd grade...about 200 children, were in the cafeteria at that time) went dead silent. The cafeteria is 3 sides concrete block and one side windows. Once President Obama finished taking the oath, the kids all stood up and clapped and screamed and shouted. What was really fun was during the speeches and different addresses, whenever the crowd would cheer, there would be this surge of cheering swelling throughout the hallways. I doubt they had any idea of why they were cheering, but they were so excited to be part of this. Several parents came in to be with their kids for this historic moment and they were so appreciative of the school letting the kids experience. Johanna had Program Challenge so she was at a different school so I couldn't go down and be with her. I got to leave school as soon as buses left (my hours are such that I have another hour after buses leave on a normal day) because our principal wanted us to be able to be with our families for the rest of the Inaugural stuff. Usually Jo goes home on the bus so when I had her come to the office at dismissal, she was a little taken aback. As we were driving home and I was explaining to her that we could get home in time to watch some of the parade (not knowing it would be late), her response was "I had to watch inauguration stuff all day at school. Can I watch something else?" Ah well, hopefully someday she'll understand and appreciate the significance of what she saw. But then she doesn't comprehend why being black should make a difference to whether someone should be President or not! That's the world she lives in even here in the heart of the Redneck South! She has friends of different colors who repeat what they hear at home and her response is, "Why does his being black mean anything to being a President? Shouldn't everyone be worried about if he's going to do a good job or not?" Out of the mouths of babes...

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Happy Birthday Grandma Huddy!

The photo above is the kids running around Grandma Huddy's house when we went up for her funeral. I didn't have a picture of Grandma on my computer but I wanted to have some kind of picture for this blog. It's hard to imagine that Grandma would be 104 today if she were still living. She was a bit of a spitfire: her stances on open mouth kissing and not eating alone still make me giggle. I still miss her and wonder what she would think of what's happening in our world right now.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Hair issues

Okay, so yesterday at the Premier Designs Rally I'm feeling goooood. I'm feeling fiiiiiine. I'm feeling like I actually have it together! I'd spent extra time doing my makeup (even remembered to put the green concealer on to tone down my red areas) and doing my hair. I'd gotten lots and lots of complements on the jewelry I had on (no mean feat in the company I was keeping) and my outfit (again, no mean feat seeing that I am fashion-challenged in a mighty way). During our lunch break I used the ladies room and when I went to wash my hands I, naturally, checked myself out. Unfortunately, the vision in my head of what I looked like did not quite match up to what I saw in the mirror. I'd obviously been rubbing my eyes (a horrible habit I've picked up lately) and my eye make-up was smeary. My red areas on my face were shining through the foundation, leaving those areas looking mottled and my hair! My blasted hair looked like I'd cut it myself!

If you look at my family photo in the slideshow, you can see that my hair had some length to it. Right before school started I got it cut off to my chin in a bob. That was the hairstyle I was sporting. That morning, it looked good, but by lunchtime some of my curls had fallen out and the frizzies and the gray hairs were popping out to say, "how do you do?" (Now, I have nothing against gray hair...I just wish it wasn't a totally different texture!!) My head has curly, wavy, slightly wavy and straight hair. It's a pain in the patoot to deal with, but yesterday I thought I'd put enough product in it to make sure it lasted all day! Not so! So today I decided enough is enough, time to go a little more drastic.

My friend, Bonnie, is a hairstylist and puts up with all my whining about my hair and helps me try to tame it. My hair likes Bonnie and willingly does whatever she wants it to do. Then it comes home with me and give me "nanny, nanny, boo-boo" stuff and nonsense. I just got my 'do done. Hopefully the hair likes what Bonnie did and gives me a little cooperation. I had Bonnie cut it shorter in the back and stack it so that when I straighten my hair, it has a little oomph, then I had her go in and layer the heck out the rest of the hair to try to lighten the load for the curls. When I got home, Lorie came and kind of "hmmmed" but I'm going to overlook that non-comment (and the look on her face) and pretend I'm jim-dandy fine with it.

I just want to feel like I have a hairstyle and not just a mess of hair on my head! Most of the time what my hair looks like has nothing whatsoever to do with me or what I've done. How sad that a big part of my "look" is up to weather and how my hair feels that day. I really, REALLY hope my hair likes this style and backs off for just a little while!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Warren T! You're A Rat...

When I look at our cat I get reminded of that line (or a line somewhat like it) from the old An Amercian Tail movie where Fievel uncovers the truth about the villain and takes off the cat costume and reveals that Warren T is a rat. (My very favoritest part of the movie is when the rich mouse, vocalized by Madeline Kahn, talks, "We-wees da secwet we-pon!" for "release the secret weapon.") I shall probably burn in hell because I'm getting the giggles off my poor, poor cat.
Prince, it seems, got in a cat fight and the poor kitty got the worst end of it all. He got his heinie tore up! The vet ended up having to shave his bottom and all but the end of the tail. When Kenny called from the vet, he said that Prince's tail had been shaved so I envisioned a bare, rat-looking tail, but when I got a look at him, there was this tuft left at the end. (Why?!) But the wounds are really icky, icky bad! Just blogging about it gives me the heeby-jeebies. I tried to get the picture far enough away to not give your stomach a jump but close enough to get the full "aw, poor kitty" effect.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Oh Deer!

I've finally had my first run-in with a deer and it was NOT fun. I've had some near, squeaky misses in the 5.5 years we've lived out here but it was all over on Tuesday morning. One thing you learn pretty quickly is that if you see one deer, it's a pretty safe bet there's at least one more not too far behind. They roam around our neighborhood a lot so you start "feeling" that they are there.

Tuesday morning I was driving to school and suddenly a deer passes right in front of my bumper. My internal dialogue went something like this, "I hate this song, I'll just change channels, oh crap, look, a deer" as the deer darted front of my bumper I remember saying out loud, 'Crap, a deer! Quick, Lorie, see if you see ano..." and that's as far as I got before the second deer popped out. I smashed into it with my front right side and it went down. I asked Lorie if she saw what it did and her answer was that it just kind of bounced from view. Since I was on a dark county road and first wanted to make sure I could keep driving safely, I drove a couple hundred feet down to a little county church's parking lot and used the lamppost there to check out my car. I could see a cracked headlight and some fur stuck in my bumper, but that was all. The tire looked good and there wasn't a smooshed anything in any part of the car. I called Kenny and he said to go ahead to the school and he'd come up when the sun came up and check it out. As I drove back I couldn't see a deer, which bothered me a bit because I didn't know how badly he was hurt (I refuse to share the sentiments of some of the good ole boys when I told this story later.).

Kenny came by eventually and there's actually more damage than I thought at first. It looks like the deer banged into my headlight and busted part of the front grill and then when he went down he got caught in the tire and some part of him bang into the front right panel of my car...not fixable by the great Ken-dini!

We JUST got that car paid off, too. Ain't them the roadapples of life!

Oh, I found the camera, hence the picture. Cute update about the truck: Tall Kenny got to drive his truck to church. During youth group one of the boys asked if the red truck in the parking lot was his and when Kenny said yes, he got a "cool" for a response. Kenny took a side look at me and grinned. So funny!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Oh crud, he's a country boy

You must sing the title of this post to John Denver's "Thank God I'm a country boy" tune.

My baby, my sweet little firstborn curly-top adorably chunky little boy is now a 6 foot whatever, deep voiced, 16-year old almost-owner of a TRUCK! (Almost-owner because we bought it and he will be granted driving privileges. If he wants to own it he's got to get a job and pay us for it.)

So anyhow, last night Big Kenny and Tall Kenny (he won't answer to "little Kenny" anymore) drove an hour away to Pendergrast, Ga (I have NO idea where that is. All I know is that if I live in the boondocks, and I think I do, it's halfway between the boondocks and Timbuktu!) and came home with a red Dodge Dakota truck. Big Kenny called me on the way home and said he'd let Tall Kenny drive it when they got to town. So when Big Kenny got home he made me come out and stand in the rain (okay, it was sprinkling...but I was in my jammies and it was cold) to see the truck when Tall Kenny drove in. So we're waiting and waiting and I'm getting wetter and wetter (not to mention crankier and crankier). Finally we see headlights but instead of coming down the driveway, the kid drives around the other side of the house and around the backyard! I watch my child in this brand-new (to us) truck driving over wet grass that belongs to my in-laws in the dead dark and then head around the pool...towards trees. Hubby takes off running around after him (okay, so THAT part was a little bit funny) screaming, "What are you doing?" Turns out he decided he "needed" to try out the 4x4 part of the truck. He's so 16!

I'll post a picture of the kid and the truck (I've GOT to stop calling it a car) as soon as I figure out where Meg put my camera. I've still got to get that dumb General Lee photo posted, too!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Celebrity Watch 2009

How is it that my last blog was in April? How sad that I'm still on the same woe-is-my-weight train since my last blog was whining about how big I'd become, too. It's just a little irritating that at the start of January 2009, I am almost back up to my January 2008 weight. Now, granted, it's not like I've been working out and watching what I eat (as I sit here scarfing down pizza and a Mountain Dew...the dinner of champions). But still, well, anything I say is going to sound stupid so I may as well leave that one right there, finish eating my pizza and move on.

I had a wee "oh my gosh" moment this afternoon and couldn't get the satisfaction of getting a "oh, wow, you're so lucky" kind of response, so all I'm left with is being able to type it here and see it in print.

Are you ready to "squee" a little? I was actually, truly and honestly, driving behind the General Lee today!!! That's right, the actual General Lee from the old Dukes of Hazzard show! And yes, I know there was more than one General Lee, and this is probably an imitation one, but barring those minor details...the General Lee, people!!

So, okay, that's not too terribly exciting. But heck, I live in Loganville, don't get much better than that! Anyway, as the story goes, I'm in my car with Meg on my way to my friend who lives in Covington to close her Premier show. I'm at the entrance to the subdivision looking for a break in oncoming traffic when I see coming down the highway an old-timey looking cop car. So I tell Meg, check out that cop car! That's the way they used to look. And she nicely said, oh, wow. (She's my favorite) Then right behind the cop car drove the General Lee! Now big Kenny has this fascination for the dude that played Bo Duke (whose name escapes me at the moment). John Schneider. There we go, caught up. Anyhow, Mr.Schneider was apparently a celebrity honorary coach for his kiddie baseball team and he has pictures of the game that Mr. Schneider showed up at that he likes to show off. It's one of his Major Moments from his childhood. Well, dang it, I'm driving down the highway behind the General Lee! So I call my man and all I get for my troubles is, oh yeah, that's nice. Come ON!!! Seriously??!!

Anyhow, after THAT disappointing response I had Meg dig out my camera from the Black Hole (my pocketbook) and take a couple photos. I obviously need to have the kid get more practice with the camera because when they turned left and I told her to take a picture so we could see the 01 on the side, she got the cop car and not the side of the General Lee. They turned into Wendy's and instead of taking the picture like I told her spent the time chattering at me and by the time she remembered that in order to take a picture, you had to do something with a camera, it was too late. So all I have to show for my 10 minutes of being close to something vaguely famous is the back of the General Lee and my dashboard. Well, and a nifty picture of the stupid cop car. And when I figure out where she put my camera I'm posting it here, baby, for all (well the two who sometimes mosey over here to read this blather) to see!