Time to grow up?

I like to think I'm a strong, vibrant woman but that would be a lie and I'm not Humperdink! I'm strong when I shouldn't be and weak when I should be strong. I have opinions on everything, including things I have no business. I tend toward the lazy and letting others make decisions for me, but then complain loud and long about things. I'm 43 years old and I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.

I have moments when I rise to the occasion and act like I'm in my 40s, been married for over two decades, have five children and a full-time job. But there are way too many times when I'm a 12-year old girl in maturity, attitude and outlook.

I do wonder how someone is supposed to grow up and act their age. There's no "mature" button and only life lessons. There really ought to be a level monitor so that you can see where you are. Maybe I'm not as immature as I think I am? Maybe others are just waaaaay farther along.

I also wonder how people figure out how to keep their households going. It's all I can do to wash a dish, take out trash, do laundry and put a meal on the table. I wish I had the wherewithal to do the family thing. I hope I haven't screwed up my kids too much and I hope that the stories they tell their kids about Grandma aren't too bad.

I wish I liked to cook. I wish I liked to clean. I wish I liked to exercise. I wish I wasn't uncomfortable around people. I wish my brain worked like it used to.

I wish, I want, I, I, I, I...guess I have a little more growing up to do!